


on my mind

by dollyeo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Exes, F/F, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:44:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/pseuds/dollyeo
Summary: The first time Minghao goes to a sex shop, it’s with Soonyoung.





	on my mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sysupportgroup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sysupportgroup/gifts).



The first time Minghao goes to a sex shop, it’s with Soonyoung.

Obviously, the nuns from their stuffy Catholic school would be rolling in their graves by now if they knew, but Minghao’s just turned twenty and it’s the first time in a long time that they’ve seen each other from their awkward, fumbling high school days. Soonyoung’s grown her hair out just a bit, her usual chin-length bob cut now reaching up to her shoulders, and her lips are covered in the lip tint Minghao had watched her put on in the train, one arm braced against Minghao’s arm to keep her balance every time they reached a stop. Minghao keeps having to look down every time she tries to talk to Soonyoung, if only because she’d grown taller in the past year and a half, and the only way Soonyoung’s grown a bit is horizontal, she’s afraid.

“College suits you,” she teases Soonyoung, pinching the hint of flab on her waistline, and instead of shrieking and shoving her away, Soonyoung had just pinched back at Minghao’s stick-thin frame and grimaced.

“It’s all those group dates,” Soonyoung bemoans. “Too much food and alcohol, and not enough cute boys or girls to talk to.”

“Or maybe your standards are too high,” says Minghao.

“Yeah,” says Soonyoung, eyes crinkling, “it’d be pretty hard to top you.”

Minghao waits for the brief ache in her chest at Soonyoung’s words, but instead of something harrowing and bone-deep, it’s only a twinge that crests inside her. Strange, what distance and time could do. Stranger still how there’s none of the bitterness and spite she’d expected to come, not after the last time they’d seen each other, when Soonyoung had broken it off. Instead, she takes Soonyoung’s hand in hers carefully, gently, like she’d always wanted to do in the hallways and open fields of their school, and nurses the sprig of affection close to her heart.

“Well,” she finally allows, “we can’t all be perfect.”

Still, bravado is easier to muster when she isn’t being intimidated with choice, especially when it comes to _this_. Soonyoung chats up the cute part-timer at the register— clearly a regular, if there ever was one— and lets Minghao browse with nervous fingers that twitch at her side. She’s only just barely mustered the courage to pick up one of the purple vibrators from the shelf— long-lasting, made of high-quality material, curved at the tip to tease at your pleasure, the box promises— when Soonyoung decides to make her presence known, reaching out to dig her chin into the crook of Minghao’s neck and shoulder.

“Ooh, that one’s no good,” says Soonyoung, like she’s talking about something inane like a back massager instead. “It doesn’t hit the right spot for me. It’s too small!”

“I’m not a size queen like you,” Minghao mutters, rolling her eyes. Still, she puts it back on the shelf, then squirms out of Soonyoung’s arms. “If you’re such an expert, why don’t _you_ pick one instead?”

“I’m already paying for it,” grumbles Soonyoung. “At least put in a bit more effort! This will be your best friend until you start dating again, you know.”

“What if I’m already dating someone else?”

“Are you?” Soonyoung challenges.

Minghao sighs, feeling a migraine form in her head. “No.”

Still, Soonyoung doesn’t look smug, not like Minghao expects her to; instead, she purses her lips, looking at Minghao so thoughtfully that Minghao feels her face flush and her mouth making excuses before she realizes it. “It’s not— I’m too busy to date, and there hasn’t really been anyone that’s _asked_ —”

“Are you still scaring off people with your resting bitch face?” Soonyoung asks. Minghao scowls, then stalks away. “Oh come on, don’t get mad— I think your bitchy faces are always cute!”

In the end, Soonyoung ends up getting her a set of questionable beads, something that will at least make Minghao’s mother think they’re harmless accessories if she ever cleans Minghao’s room out of the blue. “And anyway, this will be great for loosening you up,” says Soonyoung, with a shit-eating grin. “Because, you know. You’re a tight-ass about everything else.”

“I’m glad you think so highly about my ass,” says Minghao, drily, even as Soonyoung pats her (woefully) flat behind on the train ride back like an amused cat.

“It’s a very nice ass,” says Soonyoung, solemnly.

If she were younger, Minghao would have felt flustered, would have smiled shily up at Soonyoung and let her slide closer to put her hand on the inside of her thigh. It would have been satisfying for the briefest hours, until one of them got caught sneaking out of the other’s room and lied through their teeth about why they’d been there to begin with. Now, two years older and wiser from a broken heart, she just looks down at Soonyoung and wryly wrenches her wrist away despite Soonyoung’s squawk of pain.

“Stop harassing poor, unsuspecting juniors, unnie,” she says.

Soonyoung makes a face, and Minghao’s heart clenches, tightly, like her fist on her knee.

“You’re no fun, Minghao,” says Soonyoung. “And here I was thinking I could invite you back to my dorm room for tonight.”

“I’ll pass,” says Minghao, laughing. “I’ve seen your room plenty of times back then, and you’re never gonna convince me to go home with you now that I know you probably never clean.”

“ _This_ is why you’re single,” Soonyoung despairs.

Minghao looks at her pouty lips, the crease between her brows. “Yeah,” she echoes, feeling a lump in her throat form, unconsciously. “This is why.”

Soonyoung gets off at the next stop, and Minghao doesn’t get off to accompany her, not like she would have if they were in high school and she’d been chasing for scraps of affection. It’s enough, she thinks, watching the doors shut behind Soonyoung’s form, dwarfed by her winter coat and the scarf round her face. It’s enough for now.

There’s only so many firsts she can have with someone before it starts hurting again. Maybe this should be the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted it to be filthy but it ended like this. SORRY, PEASUS.


End file.
